Wednesday, February 21, 2018

 Hey beautiful people... how are y'all doing today?... Hope great. I am excited about this interview, it's February, it's not just the month of love where Valentine is celebrated, for us black people, february is also celebrated worldwide as Black History month, so this interview is absolutely perfect for this month because it basically celebrates love and Black culture, Nigerian northern-muslim black culture precisely.    
I have known AbdulJalal on social media for a little over two years now, especially on Snapchat, watching his snapchat stories made me realise alot about his personality, he's fun, funny, bubbly, loves to take photos, enjoys to have a good laugh and hang out .
He was basically living up the single life but admist all that he was evidently a hard worker because he was often headed to work or for one meeting or the other . 
Few months ago, to my surprise, I saw his pre-wedding pictures came out on his instagram and then his wedding invitation came out soon after and my nosey self was like wow, he is getting married ? 

He most definitely must be in love and I would love to find out all about this love and this wedding.
So I reached out to him and he responded in the most kindest manner and I am glad and honoured that I am able to finally share this beautiful journey with you all, have a lovely read guys

DVF: Welcome to the DvfStyleCollective Abdul, please tell me about yourself and background?

Abdul: My name is Abduljalal Adamu Garkuwa, I was born on the fourth (4th) of November 1989 in Toro Local Government of Bauchi state, I studied business information systems (BIS).
I graduated at 21, I also bagged a masters in business administration MBA in 2015 at the WestMinister college Malaysia, currently I'm working with an agency under the ministry of science and technology. 
I'm also involved in a wide range of international and local businesses 

DVF: That's awesome.... so growing up, what was your childhood like ?

Abdul: I grew up in Abuja, in the gwarinpa area precisely, I'm so grateful to have lived in a free, fun and progressive environment, you know some people are born with very little while others are fortunate enough to have it all. 
While growing up, my life was absolutely okay especially coming from a prestigious family like mine, but as an entreprenual mind I have always had this hunger for more, to create and accomplish my own stuff and that's the reason why I'm currently working a full time job and still doing businesses at the same time.                                         
DVF: That's absolutely admirable, love that.. so as you already know, i'm excited to hear all about your wedding lol. So let's just dive right into that but let's start from the very beginning.

Abdul: Sure, let's do it (smiles)

DVF: What were your expectations and beliefs about love while you were growing up or coming of age ? 
Abdul: Oh, I had alot of expectations of what love is and all that but with time, as I grew older, I began to realise that ... sure. It's good to have expectations for yourself about love and marriage but just make sure they are realistic ones, because you know having high expectations could ruin one's love live most especially when you're comparing yours with that of others or with what we watch in the movies 😬, that's the reason why I always try to make my expectations realisitic to avoid disappointments  
DVF: Were you one who always envisaged and pictured in your mind, the kind of wife you wanted?

Abdul: Yeah I was the kind of guy kind of who always pictured the kind of woman he wanted and indeed Munifa is exactly my type of woman 😬 you might not understand it fully because you don't know me on a personal basis but my close friends and people around me would understand what I'm talking about 😉, 
anyways she's all i've ever wanted.                                                            
DVF: Awww... how lovely, by the way she is absolutely beautiful.

 Abdul: I know right, thanks alot

DVF: You're welcome... so what does marriage mean to you as a man in this ever evolving world we live in where the norm of marriage is being challenged?

Abdul: What I think about marriage? To me, I think coming together is the beginning, staying together is progress and working together is success. If marriage is not the ultimate goal then why are you in a relationship? 
The man is the head of the family and as the man, he must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit and learn from them and strong enough to correct them.
In marriage differences should be expected and applauded, as couples you must learn how to talk about those differences and work through them, communicating and understanding each other is one of the major gifts and system to a succesful
DVF: Absolutely right, tell me, how did you meet your wife ?

Abdul: First time I met Munifa Khalid was in May 2015 at her sisters wedding lunch party, it was held at the international conference center Abuja at around 3:pm, we met and exchanged pleasantries and that's pretty much how it all began lol                    

DVF: Was it love at first sight for you or did the love grow over time ?  

Abdul: Seriously it wasn't love at first sight, the love grew over time, after we officially met at that lunch party, we began to see each other alot because her uncle is married to my niece, so we would see from time to time, when I would go to my niece's place. Gradually we just started falling for one another and now we are here lol 😬                                          
DVF: What were the striking qualities or characteristics about her that got you interested in her ? 

Abdul: That's definitely one of the most important things that helped our relationship blossom, because she attracted me with her good behaviour, she's respectful, religious, kind, gentle, caring, romantic, intelligent and tolerant. And because I know the kind of person that I am, I really need someone like her who can take care of me and tolerate me also, these qualities I mentioned are but just a few among many                            
DVF: How long did you both date before you proposed?

Abdul: We dated for two years before I proposed.       

DVF: What was your courtship phase like and what lessons did you learn from it that you would utilise in marriage? 
Abdul: Hmmm... our courtship phase was full of  it's ups and downs honestly but Alhamdulillah it's a success at the end of the day, and you know I believe that anything worth doing is worth fighting for even though it's hard at times but one has to risk it all for a dream to come, taking risks is the price we pay for success. So with that being said I am going into this marriage knowing that no matter what happens, our love is worth fighting for     

DVF: That's wonderful.... How did you know that she was "The One True love of your life" or "The One" as people say (smiles) ?

Abdul: I know that to succeed in whatever you're doing, one needs to find something that inspires you to hold on or keep going at it at all times, something to motivate you and always give you the necessary push.
After seeing all those qualities I mentioned above about her, I realized that Munifa is enough motivation and inspiration for me, therefore she's is "the one" , my one and only kitkat as I like to call her (smiles) 😬.                                       

DVF: That's so sweet.... Tell me about the proposal, how did you prepare for it and all that ?
Abdul: Well actually, we Muslims in the Northern part of Nigeria, we don't do the whole proposal thing, I made my intentions clear to her though but it was more of my parents meeting with hers and they asked for her hand in marriage and when they accepted my family's proposal, they went ahead and fixed the date for the wedding. To me I think the day a girl accepts to exclusively date you and to make you her boyfriend is the day she said yes.... 
DVF: How many days and how many ceremonies did you your wedding occupy ?, i'm asking this cause I know what northern muslim weddings are like and I saw alot of videos on your instagram stories that varied for atleast three to four days

Abdul: Yeah (smiles) , majorly three days, thursday friday and saturday. Thursday was the Kamu (the traditional wedding) , it took place in Jos.

Friday was the wedding fatiha (wedding prayers) it also took place in Jos and on Friday night was the bridal conveyance from Jos to Bauchi.
And lastly on saturday there was a wedding durba (horse ride ) in the morning of that saturday and then saturday evening there was a wedding lunch in honour of of the bride and groom 

DVF: That sounds like a whole lot of activities in just three days 
Abdul: It was a lot of stress, but  I must say that it was all worth it

DVF : So I understand that you were given a title, tell me about it and what it represents?

Abdul: Yes, I was given a traditional title as Jagaban of Toro, Toro is my local government area  and it's under Bauchi state, a few influential dignitaries from Benue state also came to Honour me

DVF : Did you get the titles during or before the wedding?

Abdul: They were actually given before the wedding but the coronation ceremony took place during the wedding, on the saturday morning

DVF: So amongst all of the ceremonies that took place, which one is recognised in your religion and tribe as the most important aspect of the wedding ?

Abdul: The wedding Fatiha that took place on Friday 14th of July 2017 at 1:30pm, it's the most important aspect, because without it there wouldn’t be a marriage

DVF: Help me out here, what does The Wedding Fatiha mean exactly (hides face) ?

Abdul: Basically, what the wedding Fatiha means is, when your parents asks for your brides hand in marriage from her parents, in the presence of a public gathering and her family officially gives her away.

That's the moment her bride price ( dowry) is paid for in the presence of not less than three witnesses, I think it’s almost the same ceremony that christians hold in the church, when the couple say their
 " I do's " , from the moment the bride price got paid, she officially became my wife.

DVF: Do Muslims also sign wedding certificates at the wedding fatiha like we Christians do ?

Abdul: No, we Hausa people generally don't but Muslim Yoruba’s do sign wedding certificates at their weddings

DVF: Okay... so let's take things back a little to the morning of your wedding ceremony,  when you woke up on the day of the Fatiha, do you recall how you felt and what went through your mind knowing that the big day had finally come when you were going to become a husband ? 

Abdul: I can’t really name a single dominant emotion because there were so many things happening simultaneously all at once and so many thoughts going through my head, but I do recall feeling the joy of being forever with my love, the pain of saying goodbye to family. I also felt so much anxiety about the wedding ceremonies and celebrations

DVF: That's alot of emotions, it must have been scary and exciting all at once

Abdul: Oh yes, it was

DVF: What was your favourite aspect of the entire wedding, the one moment that really stood out for you ? 

Abdul: The durba horse ride, it was colorful, I had all my guys around me, friends and family were riding in honor of me. 
Some people were in front of me, while others were at my back and there were also so many people at my left and right cheering me on, it was quite an amazing experience.
I enjoyed all the events but the Durba horse ride was my favorite 

DVF: Awww... even just listening to you describing it is heart warming .... that must have really been lovely, so were you very hands on with the planning of the wedding or did you just leave all that up to your wife as most grooms do ?

Abdul: Most of the planning was done by our family and friends, but we told them what we wanted, how we wanted it to be done and they really came through for us and made it all possible
DVF: That's nice... So generally, are northern weddings organised by the family and friends, while the groom and bride just tell them how they want things done or was it just how it was done in your wedding?

Abdul: Yeah, most of the northern weddings are like that, though some invite wedding planners to plan their wedding for them

DVF: Okay cool... so, since getting married, what can you say marriage has taught you so far ?

Abdul: I have learnt that there are different types of marriages, some marry for wealth, some marry for cultural and religious beliefs. 

Some really do fall in love, they learn to be as one therefore they marry. The best marriages come when two people get married for true love and not for any other reason.
That is a decision my wife and I made and we are happy with it, we made sure we married for true love and nothing else, because the love is what makes marriage worth it when there are disagreements or when things aren't too rosey because those times will surely come, it's inevitable

DVF: That's beautiful, thanks alot for taking your time to break things down for me and sharing your big day with me, I really appreciate it. Wishing you a very, very happy home

Abdul: Thank you too for interviewing me, The pleasure is mine.




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